In the previous episode, I argued that zanshin is the essence of budo. Without zanshin, there is no control. And without control, there is no martial art—only a crude display of violence.
Today, I want to focus on one idea: self-control. Clarifying this concept matters not only for martial arts practice, but for life as a whole.
1. What Control Is Not?
Self-control is often misunderstood as suppressing emotions. We do not teach children how to work with their feelings. Instead, we teach them when to hide fear, anger, stress—and even happiness, especially in front of adults.
This does not create control. It creates tension.
When emotions are suppressed, they do not disappear—they accumulate. Under pressure, especially in stressful situations, they can return in a stronger and less predictable form.
This does not make a person more in control. It makes them unstable. Therefore, control cannot mean suppression of emotions.
Before I explain what I mean by self-control, let me focus on the mechanism of working with emotions. Seeing this mechanism in action will make it easier to understand what control really is.
Let me break this down into two methods. First: direct expression. Second: letting go.
We can think of them as two different approaches to attack in martial arts. Let’s look at the first one.
2. Direct Expression
In Kyokushin Karate or Muay Thai, an opponent’s strike is resisted, blocked, or immediately countered. This represents the direct expression of emotions.
They are first contained, then channelled and expressed in a controlled way through action.
This is not mere suppression. The emotions are not eliminated—they are expressed. It must be so. There is no such thing as a non-aggressive punch or kick.
In life, we can also channel our emotions in a controlled way. Practising martial arts is one way of doing this. Even fear, stress, or shame can be transformed into controlled aggression.
Psychologists often advise us to talk about our emotions—or at least to express them clearly. For example: “You make me feel afraid,” or “What you did made me angry. Once expressed, emotions tend to lose intensity and gradually fade.
However, this method can easily slide into violence if emotional distance is lost.
This is why expressing emotions—especially in close relationships—can quickly turn into conflict.
We need to stay sensitive to feedback from others. This is how we know whether we are still in control—or already crossing into violence, not only physically, but also mentally.
3. Letting Go
In jiu-jitsu, judo, or Wado-ryu Karate, an attack is not resisted directly. Instead, it is accepted and neutralized by working around it.
This represents a different method: accepting emotions and letting them go. Rather than resisting them, we work around them and allow them to dissipate on their own.
This method has three steps. First, recognizing emotions. Second, accepting them. Third, letting them go.
According to Chuck Norris, Bruce Lee used a method based on visualization.
He imagined writing his emotions on a piece of paper—and then burning it. This illustrates the method quite clearly.
We need to notice and recognize our emotions. This was the first step in Bruce Lee’s method—to see what needed to be written on the imagined piece of paper.
Recognizing emotions makes them more manageable, and therefore easier to work with.
We need to accept our emotions. In Bruce Lee’s method, this corresponds to writing them down.
The act of acceptance itself already reduces their intensity.
We need to let our emotions go. In Bruce Lee’s method, this is symbolized by burning the piece of paper.
Instead of disturbing our peace of mind, emotions become integrated into our experience. By accepting them, we also accept ourselves—and this allows the emotions to dissolve.
This process closely resembles how we work with thoughts in meditation. When a thought appears, we notice it, accept it, and return to the breath.
This requires a more detached perspective—one that allows us not to follow the thought. As a result, the thought gradually fades.
This method also has its limitations. While the first approach risks sliding into violence, the second risks turning into suppression.
It can be difficult to maintain a truly detached perspective. It is much easier to convince ourselves that we are letting go—while in fact we are only suppressing our emotions.
In this case, feedback from others is also harder to access, because the suppression may not be visible in our behaviour.
Therefore, we need to keep ourselves in check and examine our emotions more deeply—not just let them go.
4. The Essence of Control
Now, let’s bring these two methods together. Despite their differences, they are complementary. This is why they also share certain key features.
Both methods require a certain emotional distance. This distance allows us to notice our emotions before we act on them in a controlled way.
In this way, we create distance from our emotions. From there, we can act without being driven by emotion.
Even in the first method, action is not simply an expression of aggression or any other emotion. Instead of being overpowered by it, we use its energy to achieve a specific aim.
Both methods also require acceptance of our emotions. Only when we acknowledge that we feel anger, fear, or stress can we work with these emotions—either by expressing them or by letting them go.
Self-control means acting without being controlled by our internal states. This is the common principle behind both approaches.
In this sense, self-control is not about eliminating emotions, but about not being ruled by them.
This is the key point. To make this possible, we need to maintain a specific state of mind. This state is what we call zanshin.
Training in zanshin teaches us not to act on our first emotional impulse.
It teaches us to pause, observe the situation, understand what is happening, and act with a clear mind.
In this way, zanshin becomes the foundation of a disciplined mind—and control follows from it.
5. Control and Situational Awareness
Lack of zanshin and control is immediately visible in a fight. Anger makes a person predictable. Fear makes them passive. Ego disrupts the structure of action.
In each case, action is no longer intentional—it becomes purely reactive.
Zanshin and control make it possible to act not according to impulse, but according to the situation.
In practice, this is very clear. Practitioners of full-contact martial arts know that technique alone is not enough. First, we need to create the right conditions. Only then can we execute a technique effectively.
It is the situation that makes a technique effective. This is why those who maintain zanshin—who stay focused, who are not driven by emotion, and who wait patiently for the right moment—are more effective than those driven by ego.
Similarly, in life, it is important to recognize whether we are in a situation of attack, defence, or waiting and gathering strength.
This is why classical texts on strategy—such as those by Sun Tzu or Miyamoto Musashi—remain relevant. They apply to many of the problems we face in life.
But to recognize the situation, we must maintain zanshin—that is, remain alert and ready.
6. Control and Compassion
As I explained in the previous episode, compassion is part of zanshin. And self-control makes it possible.
Compassion—unlike empathy—requires distance. This is because compassion is not a simple emotional reaction. It is based on understanding the other person.
Self-control creates this distance. It reduces immediate emotional involvement.
With a clearer perspective, we can act according to the other person’s situation—not our impulses. In this way, compassion supports effective action without losing its proper aim.
Emotional distance depends on control. And control depends on zanshin.
7. Control and Discipline
Self-control is also the essence of discipline. This is because control is not a momentary state, but a stable capacity. Therefore, it must be trained.
However, this works in two directions.
On the one hand, discipline means returning to control—despite distraction, fatigue, or emotion. It means doing what needs to be done, regardless of how we feel.
In this way, disciplined behaviour strengthens the will, and a stronger will supports control.
On the other hand, disciplined behaviour itself requires control from the very beginning. We need enough distance not to follow our immediate impulses.
Training control and discipline is similar to training physical strength. We need some strength to begin any exercise. But we also need discipline to push beyond our limits and develop it further.
The same applies here. We need a basic level of control to act in a disciplined way. But we also need to push our mental limits to strengthen both our will and our control.
This is how martial arts shape character. As I mentioned earlier, they develop traits that are already present.
We need a certain level of discipline and stability to continue training. But training itself strengthens these qualities.
Without some initial control, discipline collapses under momentary impulses—such as distraction, fatigue, or emotion. And without discipline, control also collapses under pressure on our will.
Therefore, as in physical training, we should begin with minimal effort. Only on this foundation can a stable system of control and discipline develop.
Without self-control, most of our decisions are merely reactions—to stress, expectations, emotions, and other external factors. Instead of shaping our lives, we are shaped by circumstances.
In this way, we do not act—we only react to circumstances. To regain agency, we need self-control and discipline.
8. The System in Retrospect
I have outlined the basic structure of the system that operates both in budo practice and in everyday life. This structure is relatively simple.
Its foundation is zanshin, which I discussed in the previous episode. Zanshin creates awareness, and awareness makes control possible—this is what I have focused on today.
Zanshin and control form the foundation of everything else—compassion, discipline, and other qualities I will discuss in future episodes.
This is how budo can become a way of life.
